today...

today is a strange day. It's less than a week to my daughter's wedding.

I'm so very happy for her. She has found a soul mate and I know that they will have a wonderful life together.It's also a sad time because I know that my family unit will never quite be the same again. Maybe that is a selfish way of looking at it. It's all about letting go, and although I'm not an apronstrings mum, it's really very hard to do. I know that she is only round the corner, but even so...

I know that we will have a wonderfully happy day on Saturday. With all our families and friends together, we can't fail to have a great celebration! But this week, while I am at home, I will be reflecting: Steph being born, such a lovely happy baby, Steph growing up, her timid little face when she gets scared. All those things she said she couldn't do, swimming, ballet, holding an eagle on her hand - she always passed with flying colours!

Now I look at my grown up daughter, and I am so proud of her. She has secured a great job, where she is respected and loved. She has just bought her first property and arranged more or less everything herself.
Her army family love her as one of their own. She loves working with the children, but still has doubts sometimes about her abilities. I can see that God has given her so very many talents, but she has to understand that for herself, she won't always listen to mum !

She still has much to learn, to discover and to grow - and that's the exciting part of where she is just now in her life.
She will have Stephen to share eveything with. All the exciting things to come, they will share together, and that's how it was always meant to be.

I know that it is almost unreasonable of me to feel that I am losing my daughter, I know I'm not really. Perhaps it's just my age ! I wouldn't be surprised. I only wish wonderful and happy things for her. I'm not so naive to realise that life is not a bed of roses all the time and they will have hard times as well as easy. But they love each other so very much. They understand each other and this, together with a reliance on God's help, will see them through.

This post is from the heart. It's about Steph. Unashamedly indulgent in how I feel today. My baby... my firstborn.. my tears are real, the pain in my heart is real, but the love and pride is immeasurable and unconditional.

My love and blessing go with Steph and Stephen as they start on this new era in their lives.
I will always be there for them, but in the background, advice, support - but not interference !
I love them both.
Even if no-one ever reads this, it's good to get my thoughts and feelings down on paper (as it were).
Now, enough maudling ! I need to get on. I have a hat to pick up !